Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 45,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
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Hi Reader, This weekend we celebrate Mother's Day, a holiday that has long been complicated for me. So it's fitting that this week a question landed in my inbox that took me back to a time in my life when my dreams of finding a partner and being a mother felt tender and uncertain. I have a question and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to answer it. When I read your Renewal chapter in your book, I very much related to the first part of the chapter where you talk about feeling left behind in the marriage game. I am currently 34 years old and have been searching for a good man for a long time now. I stay in shape, have good character, and have done a lot to improve myself. Was there anything that shifted for you that helped you find your husband? I am experiencing some curative effects from applying many of your joy techniques. I just wonder if there’s something you learned in the process that could be useful to someone like me. I know this reader is not alone in her question, so I asked for her permission to answer publicly. And scroll on for the new productivity tool that's keeping me joyfully focused, a nudge to buy yourself flowers (whether or not you have kids who remember to do so), and new research that shows that art can indeed save lives. Joyfully, Ingrid One ThingBuy yourself the tulips Why is it so hard to buy yourself flowers? You may not struggle with this (and if not, good for you!) but for the rest of us, it's worth asking why such a simple pleasure feels like such a frivolous indulgence. Maybe it's the combination of purposelessness and transience. Flowers don't do anything, and they don't last very long. But, as I remind myself every year when I hem and haw over whether to get the tulips from my local farmstand, life doesn't last long either. It doesn't have to be tulips, of course. Feel free to insert your fleeting, purposeless pleasure here. And go for it! Research HighlightCan rainbow crosswalks keep pedestrians safer? According to this study, a big fat yes. The study looked at crosswalks and intersections at 17 sites in the Northeast and Southeast US where "asphalt art" had been added. The types of improvements included crosswalk paintings, painted plazas, intersection murals, and sidewalk extensions. Researchers compared 2 years of data following the artworks' installation with historical data from the years prior, and found these interventions were linked to a 50% decrease in accidents involving pedestrians, a 37% decrease in crashes that led to injuries, and a 17% decrease in the total crash rate. Far from being just decorative, art is a valid tool for increasing safety in towns and cities. Delightful DiscoveriesI'm often asked how to balance minimalism with joy: maybe "minimax" is the answer? A new productivity tool has me making real progress on some important long-term projects. It's not a to do list, but a morning ritual that helps you plan your day and get the most important things done. Get a free month here. How to double your art collection using things you already own (I recently framed a sheet of tickets from the first time we took Graham to a carnival, and it instantly became my favorite piece in the house.) This whole line of swimsuits is so fun, but this is the one that has me most excited for summer G. got a big kid bed this week (red, of course) and I couldn't wait to outfit it with this duvet set Dove back into Julia for season 2 last night and was reminded why I love this show so much: beautiful relationships, thoughtful dialogue, and oh, the food! My search for "joyful basics" continues with this dress, which comes in a ton of colors Awards that do not exist (that you're trying to win anyway). Ooof. I loved the springy simplicity of Ayo Edebiri's Met Gala look A beautiful collection of playroom favorites by a former teacher Last week I shared that I was trying out this new chemical-free nonstick pan. Just thought I'd report back that I've been putting it through its paces with all kinds of sticky stirfries and it's still the favorite. No other nonstick has come out of the cabinet since this one arrived! My new favorite Instagram follow Quote of the Week"There is another world, but it is inside this one." — Paul Éluard |
The Joyletter
Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 45,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
Hi Reader, "Mom, do you know how to play musical chairs?" This week, G started summer camp. He's 4 and there are a lot of things that are new to him, so sometimes I just say no for the delight of hearing him explain them. He proceeds to walk through all the rules in detail. "So, did you play musical chairs at camp today?" I ask when he's finished. "No." "Oh, why not?" I ask. "It's too stressful," he says. It's hard to describe the joy and pride I feel in this moment. You see, I hated musical...
Hi Reader, When things get good in your life, does something bad always seem to happen? I used to think that this was just bad luck. But recently I've realized that this pattern can be a sign of something called an upper limit problem. The idea, coined by psychologist Gay Hendricks, is that each of us has a certain tolerance for happiness. When something happens to exceed that threshold, we often engage in unconscious, self-sabotaging behaviors to bring our happiness back down to a more...
Hi Reader, Do you ever wish there were a "bad day" vaccine? Alas, no one is immune to bad days. (Yes, that includes those of us who study joy for a living.) In the past, when I found myself in the midst of one of those no-good-very-bad days, I would throw my hands up in despair. But when I learned about how even small moments of joy can shift our moods, I realized that no day is ever a lost cause. Joy is possible even on the worst days. It may only be a flicker, but it can change everything....